Words Women Use....

The official 411 on the female vocabulary....

It's that time of the year again... About once a year, I float an old email that I got about 10 yrs ago and it has its informative side not to mention it's good for a couple of laughs... But it is something that all men should not be without....

Please feel free to refute and/or update the official dictionary...

WORDS WOMEN USE

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks-this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your

Football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING

This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. 'Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with 'Fine'

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over

"Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD or WHATEVER (Normal Eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often

Misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a nonverbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay,” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow".

GO AHEAD.

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks.” A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when She is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh.” Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

The Official and unadulterated NOHD EMS song...

Ems Song

Okay here is a song that was written by yours truley and the man Randy. Thanks to Mr. Situation for reminding me and inspiring me to put in words. Need to check out his space for he is the best of the best and there will never be another Paramedic that will come close to him!!!!! Imagine two fat bastards drunk signing at Tricous on Bourbon Street. It goes a little like this.

New Orleans Health Department EMS Rap

See the red lights who can it be

It's the red and white lights of the NOHD

coming to the aid of someone ill

prolonging life is what we do well

say twenty four hours seven days a week

we're saving lives even as we speak

So dig the rap and feel the grove

call 911 and we'll work for you!

There were three person people in an MVA

sitting in their car complaining of

NECK Pain

so they called for a unit from the NOHD,

so we took all to Touro that's right all three!!!

They call me the Pooh

am the para dude

I'll be pushing the drugs

and I'll be working on you

They call me a medic I'm an EMT

I drive this bus for that's what pleases me,

They laugh and say that I'm just an A

but it's me They call to save their day!!



Sound pretty good, with the R-Man jamming out on the six string, and about 8 drinks in you.

Hope you enjoy, and no it's isn't suppose to make sense or be grammatically correct!

T-Man